ladies and gentlemen if you want to truly be a success on this earth
heres what you must do
1st youve got to cut out the coffee when you wake up
its just a sugary kick in the balls to that devil in you
fuck your lazy body
don’t give that mother fucker sugar
2nd you’ve got to start smoking weed when you wake up
now, i know what you’re thinking
hes trying to be funny
i’m dead serious
5-6ish am your spirit is a wet noodle
you gotta get aligned son

the mind/body dilemma
do you ramp your day up with coffee for the body
or a little bit of love for the mind
just to balance yourself out, ya know
you can be an asshole for the whhhhhhole remainder of the day
i’m just asking for about 7 minutes of your time
and i’m not saying get stoned before work
i’m saying you take 10 deep breathes in your car in the garage
just give me two of the ten
you take one hit, then five deep breathes
then repeat the cycle once more
say a positive mantra
this is where you really start off the direction of the day
mine goes like this (morgan freeman voice) “dear LORD don’t let nobody fuck with me”

and this works if you’re a cop
this works if you’re a principle of some fucked up high school
works really well if you have some job you hate haha

you just tell yourself during your ten breathes
i’m gonna treat people how I would like to be treated
i’m gonna look mother fuckers in the face and smile
and if I encounter some negative energy, i’m not going to run away from it, or help grow it
i’m just gonna try to dismantle it
not absorb it
well maybe absorb it

its like, when you go to a beach, you pick up some trash on the way out cause you want to leave it cleaner than when you arrived
same thing with life
when you go out into the matrix each morning
you can’t just be polluting it up with all your shit each day
beeping at the guy in front of you at the light cause hes texting
or lose your mind cause someone didn’t practice the “common courtesy” you thought you we’re entitled to
thats obstacles bitch
one of buddha’s noble truth was ‘life is suffering’
(I believe, that came out as if I knew anything about buddha. I did listen to siddhartha on audiobook when I was a kid though haha)

I don’t know where I was going with this to be quite honest
I just felt like I should get my mandatory support for weed out of the way before I went any further with this blog
I feel like it really weeds out my readers
anyone who read this far
i’m happy to have you lol

Kassius arrived this week. Or maybe, last week; I can’t be sure
the drive up the 99 to the hospital was lit by the harvest moon on the night of the 18th
supposedly it was fullest at at 6 or 7 am the next morning on the 19th
he was born late in the 8 o clock hour
but still close lol

now both of my children have been born on the 19th
perhaps they will have similar personalities?
i can’t remember the day of your births significance
my daughters hella cool so thats good
I wanted Kassius to be born on the 16th or 25 for numerology reasons haha
but i’m happy he came on the 19th
my wife actually had a pretty crazy birth
our seemingly inept doctor missed the breach
so she end up going into labor unnecessarily
if we would have known she was going to need a c-section I would have scheduled that shit for the 16th, ya know?
but apparently once you have a c-section you have to have it that way for the rest of your life
so at least if I have another kid I can pick that date lol

I was browsing through this edgar cayce book while I was waiting at the hospital
and there was this section about when Jesus was really born
edgar says March 19th
Kassius is literally the polar opposite calendar wise
hopefully thats not an issue haha
although, to be quite honest, i’m pretty sure he was conceived on a rowdy night of boozing for my birthday on Dec 20
ya know, in the wee hours post closing time
December 21 2012ishhhhh
but, lets be honest
you know how many kids are probably born around Kassius?
everyone was probably scared as fuck
thinking aliens are coming down
trying to get one last nut off before the end haha
my wife has two friends who had children within 6 days of him
ill have to look into that lol

oh man, it was the worse
we’d been staying with her grandparents during our move
and you know, their diet is literally pure corn syrup, just the worst shit you could buy
no nutritional value, just like a preservative/additive cocktail of sugar
so when my wife is going into labor
i’m in the car with the worst stomach ache
not like i had to shit my pants, but you know, that upper region that feels like cheese boiling on your spine
you know, that feeling you get after leaving the movie theater after eating a tub of popcorn and jug of soda
but X that by like a week!
i didnt want to complain you know, how can you?
its like no matter what I say i’m an asshole so I just bit my lip and powered through it
and then I followed that up with a few days of hospital food
I think I could literally feel the pH balance of my body change haha
the serpent just fell of the tree
but you’ll be pleased to know that i’m doing just fine now
Kassius is doing great too
I couldn’t be happier
I feel so blessed and I am literally so grateful

I think back how much things have turned around in one year
how bad things got fucked up and now how now I feel like i’ve never been happier
I sound like someone whos about to OD haha

it was funny, I had been going over his numerology and one of the blups said “your clothes will always fit like they were made perfectly for you.”
and the first outfit my wife changed him into, my mother in law was like “wow, that  fits him perfectly”
i’m like “damn right, I fucking named him didn’t I?” haha

well its 3 am now
i need to get going to bed
I have to wake up early and go to my wife’s grandparents house in the morning to drink beer and watch football with her elderly grandfather
his beer too
life is good lol

19 thoughts on “life is suffering

  1. First off- you are wise beyond your years!!! And that wisdom seeps through in your writing- you should consider doing it professionally if you truly do hate your current job. I decided yesterday to chuck ALL my so-called “dreams” of someday having an actual degree- or ever again having a “normal” job, for that matter.

    Secondly, congrats on the be-bes!!! I have no clue who I’m saying this to or where you are- yours was just the first post in my feed that I actually found interesting enough to make myself late just to read. As far as their birthdays- what month/year/time of day were they born? I’d be more than happy to pull up their birth charts and share a link on your page (assuming it’s possible- sharing the link, I mean. The charts are a no-brainer for me: I’m a PTW & have done hours upon hours of research myself- but I know exactly squat about any technology-related applications or terminology, what have you.)

    As far as the Jesus thing- I believe they are right. I’ve studied NASA for planetary positions/conditions etc. dating all they way back (yep, it goes back that far!) as well as the astrological aspects and their meanings. Jesus HAD to be a Pisces (February 19th- March 19th, I believe- could be thru 21st) on the cusp of Aries (~March 20th to sometime in April) because Aries is actually the FIRST sign of the zodiac while Pisces is the LAST- hence the mix-up in dates. I have a lot more I’d love to share- including MY C-Section AFTER 24hrs of labor horror story!- but I absolutely MUST get off here & get washed up & presentable for the “real” world or I’ll be late visiting MY baby.

    Please let me know if you’d like more info and/or to get acquainted because I SERIOUSLY need to connect with like-minded people in the universe: and not many of them come from where I’m from. I’d love to read the rest of your work/blog when I get the chance- you seem like someone who wouldn’t disappoint 😉

    Say hi to your wife for me if you’d care to- tell her I FEEL her pain!

    Take care!

    • congratulations on chucking your various dreams
      you know what?
      youre alive and thats all that matters
      still able to reform who you are and what you stand for
      its an amazing and exciting time

      thank you for congratulations on the children
      i undoubtedly contributed no more than 6 minutes to the whole process

      lastly its cool as fuck that you studied NASA planetary positions
      I was doing a little reading on how exactly the three wise men knew to come from the orient
      apparently they were charting the stars
      mind blowing to really sit back and try to digest Jesus and what exactly he was

      anyway thanks for stopping by !!

  2. P.S.- PTW= Professional Time Waster: I’m actually “disabled” due to the fact that I’m “crazy” but don’t let that scare you: we’re just some of the few born SANE in an INSANE WORLD!!!

  3. Love this post! It’s real and raw..awesome..just to let your thoughts flow like that. Anyway..your children being born on the 19th..well from my knowledge and intuition..they may have a destiny of being leaders in a humanitarian effort..like little Jesus’..big hearts great smiles and kind to everyone.

  4. I’ve sadly been a bit absent and I apologize. But really what I want to say is this: that whole “Buddha” thing you got going – fabulous! So very true. I think that’s something I do need to try and do every morning when I wake up (minus the pot smoking lol it’s not for me, but I love the rest of it). Congratulations on the arrival of your new lil’ one! Regardless of what day it was 🙂

    • you know what? it doesnt even have to be pot
      its up to you! 😉
      And thanks so much for the congrats
      Kassius has a 7 lifepath so thats still okay with me lol
      like i had a choice

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